Emotions

PART -I

Iam talking about Nichu. Till date i dont know his real name. A man aged 36 or may be 38. There is this sullen look on his face always. The first day i saw him i noticed this feature of him.

It was some 3 years ago. I used to frequent a shop of my friend. And its here tat i get to meet Nichu. He brings in tea and snacks for everyone. Give Nichu an order and he would bring it in around 40 minutes. Well that was his usual time span.

In a couple of days i noticed tat he was not normal. I actually don't know what his condition is. Was he mentally unbalanced or was he mentally retarded.

The time lag of 40 minutes one day became too much for my friend Prem and he though of a novel idea. He Introduce me to Nichu.

"Nichu this is Shaji a Police Officer. He is a very angry man. So dont keep him waiting for the tea and snacks."

Nichu until then would look at my face but would never smile. To be frank i had never noticed him smile at anybody or anything. After this little introduction, he would never even look at my face. But the tea used to arrive in less than 10 minutes.

When I asked Prem about this strange behaviour of Nichu, he told me tat Nichu was too afraid to talk to a Police person. But Prems intentions did work well and we could enjoy our tea and snacks minutes after placing the order.

Months passed, Prem decided to close shop and go work in Ethiopia. And i invariably stopped visiting the place.

PART - II

The evening rush time. I got into a bus heading towards home. I see one person trying to catch my attention in this crowded bus. Then it came to me tat it was Nichu. Good old Nichu. He seemed to be so excited seeing me and i was so surprised given the fact that he wouldnt even look at my face.

After a few stops the bus is now almost empty and i get a seat. Nichu comes near me with a big smile on his face (this was new to me) and occupies the seat next to me.

After he made himself comfortable and the usual questions i asked him wat made him so happy.
He opened his bag and brought out some pics of a toddler. A baby girl probably 6 or 8 months old. He gives it to me and tells me its her daughter.

Iam looking at the pics and Nichu is very excited and telling me about the details of his first baby..

The way the baby crawls around him when he is home, the way it sleeps on his chest. How he was afraid when she had to be hospitalised because of fever etc. etc. I was just looking amusingly at his face. I was searching for an answer as to what made him talk to me. I wanted to ask him that question, but did not want to interrupt him.. I was feeling so happy for him and somehow i could feel his warm loving feeling towards the child. As he went on i couldnt answer him.. I was overwhelmed by his love for the toddler and was trying hard to keep away those tears. All i did was nod my head.

He stopped and then suddenly he said "Innu vaava enne uppa ennu vilichu!!!" (my daughter called me father today) and i could see tears in his eyes. I couldnt control my emotions and my eyes were moist too.. I didnt say a word to him and got out of the bus at my stop. Nichu waved at me but i didnt have the guts to wave at him. I still dont understand those emotions. Wat made me speechless is still a wonder to me.

I still dont know wat to name the emotions tat i went through at that time. Ever since after tat i feel ashamed to face Nichu. Im still wondering what makes me ashamed!!!